Slacking Slackers and The Work They Don't Do

Everyone knows someone who they wouldn't miss if they dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't met anyone like that recently but I have been checking off a lot of check boxes on my mental list of "Things That A Person Would Need To Do In Order To Make My List Of People That I Wouldn't Miss. "

*I don't have any serial killer tendencies and am not going to act on my urge to make this person disappear. 

The Things That A Person Would Need To Do In Order To Make My List Of People That I Wouldn't Miss list is forever growing and as of late, I've decided that fine tuning said list would not only be of service to me, but also to people that I meet and have to interact with on a daily basis. 

I'm going to keep it as a regular part of these posts
I have a lot of things on the list

Point Number One: I have an unusually low tolerance for laziness. 
This isn't meant to be directed toward one type of laziness. I condone, in full, skipping breakfast because it's too far of a walk from your bed. This point is more directed toward academic and *occupatory laziness that stems from one's own desire to be a slacker. I could not be clearer when I say 

1. Do Not Go To College If You Hate Learning, Studying, Gaining Knowledge or Typing Papers

2. Do Not Complain About The Minimum Wage Job That You've Chosen To Work Because You Need Money to Spend At The College You Are Enrolled in But Are Rarely Seen Attending. 

3. Do Not Whine When You Have To Work Two Minimum Wage Jobs To Pay For The Clothing That You Bought At A Store You Could Not Afford to Be Shopping At , To Wear To The Classes That You Do Not Go To At The College You Never Attend. 

For the love of all that is sacred, please, if you hate learning, studying, acquiring knowledge, going to class, typing papers, taking exams, becoming well rounded, making friends and interacting with people that aren't made of pixels,  do not go to college.

Do not send in an application. 

Do not apply for financial aid. 

Do not buy a quirky colored set of Twin XL sheets for your bed. 

Do not pack your family's minivan or apply for you commuter parking pass and join the thousands of students on move in day who actually want to be in college. 

Go to a career fair, learn about traveling options, apply for your dream job or go get an internship. But do not waste the time and money of your parents and professors by getting into a school that you found in a brochure, taking classes that you heard were "easy," and laying in bed tweeting about how you only live once and that condones skipping your English class to go to the mall, for the seventeenth day in a row. 

When you fail your required English class, forget to pay your housing deposit, get three parking citations and have to commute, retake English and live off campus, guess how many people will feel bad for you. Go on, guess.

It won't be the people that suffered through the classes you skipped 

It won't be the people that woke up at six in the morning and registered for classes while you were at Starbucks

It won't be the teachers that got fed up with you turning in things that were consistently late and unfinished

The number of  people that will feel bad for you will be equivalent to the amount of people that enjoy having their car breakdown on the side of the road, in the middle of a heat wave, while they have frozen groceries in the trunk.

The number will be zero. 

The only person that is going to have sympathy on the big mess that you've made is you. No one is going to feel sorry for you because you are lazy. 

Now, I'm not saying that you need to wake up every and attend all your classes with homework done, study guides completed and five essays in hand. And I am  definitely not saying that you do not have the right complain. As a college student I know that I do a lot of complaining. All I'm saying is that I have no time or desire to hear people complaining about things that they can change and choose not too. And chances are, the people that you are complaining to feel the same way.

So you didn't finish your Physic's lab, and want to copy my notes? 

If you were bed ridden with the flu, and had to miss class (which is what you told our professor) then I'd be more than happy to help you, and heck maybe we could even study for our exam together.

However, if you were at the "rager," that someone threw in my hallway last night at 3 am, are worrying about who will sign you into class because 2:15 is just a really inconvenient time for you to haul your self out of your room, and don't even know the name of the professor that we have,  then I'll probably tell you to get lost. 

Do not complain about academic troubles that you have caused for yourself. And certainly do not do it at an institution where education is of a pretty high value to the people that watch you pass out on the bathroom floor at least two nights a week. 

Drink yourself into a coma at home; don't do it at college. 

All that being said, I have to give a small and bittersweet pat on the back to students that manage to maintain a 3.0 GPA while still having 368 photos of themselves at a toga party to post on Face book, every single weekend. I know a few of these people and they are usually copying someones homework and essays and have a small amount of time left before they realize that their final exams aren't open note and that their academic advisor is citing them for plagiarizing. 

I just somewhat admire multi-taskers, because it does take effort to consistently remember to copy lab notes from a class that you know nothing about because you've attended less than half of the sessions. 

I am curious as to whether or not my professor has noticed that your seat is always empty but your name is always on the sign in sheet. 

I think I've said enough to express the anger I have for the fact that you came to class just to submit your half assed project proposal and then left get coffee.
I hope you find your place in the world because I can tell you it is not here

With Concern For Your Well-Being,

Katherine 

*occupatory adj.  ;involving or relating to a chosen occupation.
      In context
   
     Don't take on occupatory duties that you cannot handle because I will not listen to you complain when you have bitten off way more than you can chew. 
     Her occupatory complaints went generally unnoticed by the hard working individuals that were her co-workers. 

 I made up this word.